Zombie Apocalypse Guide

First off, I’m assuming that you haven’t prepared at all in advance, so you don’t have large quantities of drinkable water, non-perishable food, weapons, or protective gear, and you don’t live in a fortress. I am also assuming that the zombies were created by a virus and that zombies would be anywhere that people would be.

The first instinct you have might be to get food, but that would be wrong. Everyone else would also be thinking this and you would likely have to compete with them. Instead, go to a sporting goods store such as Big 5 where you can get good running shoes, a backpack, protective gear (good enough to protect from a bite), and a weapon (gun or medal bat). Now you are ready to go get some food and it will hopefully be a lot less risky with your gear. Now you hopefully have some food water and might have found some friends. You’ll need to lay down the rules. The rules from “Zombieland” are pretty good and go as follows:

1.       Cardio

2.       The Double Tap

3.       Beware of Bathrooms

4.       Wear Seat Belts

5.       No Attachments

6.       The “Skillet”

7.       Travel Light

8.       Get a Kick Ass Partner

9.       With your Bare Hands

10.   Don’t Swing Low

11.   Use Your Foot

12.   Bounty Paper Towels

13.   Shake it Off

14.   Always carry a change of underwear

15.   Bowling Ball

16.   Opportunity Knocks

17.   Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)

18.   Limber Up

19.   Break it Up

20.   It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint

21.   Avoid Strip Clubs

22.   When in doubt Know your way out

23.   Ziploc

24.   Use your thumbs

25.   Shoot First

26.   A little sun screen never hurt anybody

27.   Incoming!

28.   Double-Knot your Shoes

29.   The Buddy System

30.   Pack your stain stick

31.   Check the back seat

32.   Enjoy the little things

33.   Swiss army Knife

More info on the zombieland rules can be found at http://www.zombielandrules.com                                 

In addition, you will need to have an infection policy. In the case of anyone in your party being bitten they can either: have to commit suicide, be killed, be exiled, or be caged.